We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.


by Val Bauer

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price


  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Limited to 100. Includes lyric booklet. Packaging screen printed and hand-numbered by Val.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Malaise via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    edition of 100 

      $5 USD or more 


She says, “This time it will be different. This time you'll be fine. If you just take me, I'll be your friend, and make everything all right.” And it's not that I really want her, but I can't say I don't I let her in cos she's my friend who's always there when I'm alone I let her in out of habit I let her in cos I'm bored When I take her down and give her a spin, in my mind she's pirouetting down the drain, but when I look, it's my glass that she's found. And every morning I feel the pain I wish that I could pour her down the drain, but it's so hard each night she comes around. And she's pulling me, pulling me down. And maybe I went off the deep end, never tried to swim back up, just flailed my arms and legs a bit, and then decided just to float Cos I had a blind date set with Temperance, but I never showed Cos my old friend, she called me again, and said, “Meet me up the road” She'll give you what you want until you kick her out the door She'll give you what you want until you don't want it no more She'll give you what you wanted til you're crawling to her on the floor She'll give you what you wanted til you want it baby, And she's got me.
I'm starting to wonder if others more readily accept They're so easily pacified Cos I'm starting to learn that I will never be content I'll never be satisfied I've seen and had, hurt and lost, I'm thirsty and I wanna drink it down I've come and gone, been found and lost, I've been, now I want a new town And I say… I know I've see much more than many have But when I go to bed, I dream I'll wake In someplace far away from here And say, “I'm one day closer to being free.” I'm starting to feel the booze take its hold The booze that they feed me Yeah the booze that I feed me And I gotta get out cos I got this fear, not of growing old, but of ceasing to be. Yeah I am ceasing to be.
Been smoking too much, and waiting my by window for you to call Thought I could have it all, but now the rug's been pulled out from under me, you're all I got to hold onto Cos I've been living these years hanging by a thread of nights of nostalgia Thought they'd get me there, but now I know, I'm not going back to Liverpool I'm not going back, says a note I got in the post today. I'm not going back to Liverpool, so I guess I'll have to try again, some other time, some other way Hope you know that I would have wanted to stay with you while I was gone Call me naïve, but all I ever wanted was a song to sing and someone to sing it to But I've been living these years hanging by a thread of nights of nostalgia Thought they'd keep me warm, but now I know I'm not going back to Liverpool
Not Alone 04:23
When you wake every morning, only wanting for the night to come, with hopes that you can do it better next time, Take comfort in knowing that we're all hurting, except for those of us who haven't had the chance to live enough yet To live is to love, to love is to hurt to hurt is to learn That you're not alone when your light's gone out, and all your happiness has turned to doubt, and you turn and say, “I don't think I can do this anymore.” You're not alone when you've lost your fight, scared to death of a wasted life, and you're afraid, you're terrified, but you can make it. You're not alone. Yeah I've felt it plenty, that I've wasted my twenties on trying to find the youth that somehow got left behind Each day keeps compounding, the throb in my head resounding, but there's things in life I know I'm not ready to give up yet The more I try to fix things wrong with me, the more I seem to find about myself that I don't like You're not along when all you see is dark, the touch of hopelessness has left its mark that won't seem to fade But I know we can make it. You're not alone. Lift your head and say, “I know we can make it.” To live is to love, is to hurt, is to learn that.
To Be Alive 03:58
It's been too long with my head hung down, or since I've felt at all like myself But I just can't seem to get over things, or figure out what's bringing me down But it's not too late I have to wait, and keep trying I'm tired of being tired And I'm tired of myself, tired of needing help, But I've decided I'll keep trying, and with the love I have, I'll dig myself out of this hole Was losing hope, I was falling down, but a stranger's kindness picked me up Sometimes that's all it takes to know that there's hope and things can turn around and that it's not too late.


released February 14, 2015

Produced and engineered by Jackson Long
Recorded July 2014 at Red Room Studios and Hear Me Shimmer Recording Co., Seattle, Washington
Mixed by Jackson at HMS
Mastered by Chris Vita at Vita Mastering, Portland, Oregon

Aaron O’Neil: drums
Val: vocals, electric guitar, acoustic guitar, bass

Design: Michelle Smith
Handwriting: Sara Qualin

All songs written by Val Bauer (ASCAP).
© & ℗ 2014 Val Bauer. All Rights Reserved.


all rights reserved



Val Bauer Portland, Oregon

From Portland, Oregon, Val Bauer writes songs of earnest confessionalism, following in the songwriter tradition but built on a pop-punk foundation. Val's music is about the struggle, but also the optimism that it's possible to not have to accept what's given us; that we're all fighting the same fight, and that we're not alone. ... more

contact / help

Contact Val Bauer

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Val Bauer recommends:

If you like Val Bauer, you may also like: